The Conscious Matchmaker

Episode 13 | From the Field | Mr. Right vs. Mr. Right Now (Mrs./NB)

If find yourself desperately searching for Mr. Right (Mrs./NB)... this one is for you. Your hosts, Sophy and Elizabeth, share two client stories from the dating field that highlight the complexities of emotional connections that form from trauma bonding and a crucial shift in mindset that will alchemize that "desperate dating" energy.
Plus a new announcement! Ever wished for that 90s-feel dating hotline, but with feedback and guidance consciously rooted in self-awareness and personal growth ? The Conscious Matchmaker is launching, Conscious Call-Ins, a dating hotline where you can call with any dating doubts or fears and a team of our matchmakers will listen. Your anonymous call may even be featured on our next From the Field episode where you will receive guidance from your hosts. Can't wait to hear from you! Details and links below!
 
Conscious Call-Ins

Episode 12 | Looking for the One? | Words from the Wise with Dr. Justin Wilford

How many dates and apps have we been on searching or scrolling for "The One".... or someone....or ANYone? How often have we felt empty, misunderstood, unseen, or even hopeless after a date? In this potent Words from the Wise episode, Sophy sits with Dr. Justin Wilford in a candid conversation about Internal Family Systems, Attachment Styles, and their transformative upcoming workshop, "Becoming the One."  Tune in to learn about how Internal Family Systems uncovers your true essence and brings incredible and lasting connection and clarity into your dating life. This is one you don't want to miss!
Save your Spot for "Becoming the One"
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Use the Code BTO100
for $100 off!

Episode 11 | 3 Ways to Turn Dating from Transactional to Transformative | From the Field

Ever feel like dating is an endless succession of interviews? Sometimes you're the interviewer and sometimes the interviewee. This is what happens when dating becomes transactional rather than transformative. In this From the Field episode, we dive into 3 juicy ways to breathe life back into your dating life, so that it becomes a point of fun and growth for you both! With real life and real relatable stories from our clients, get an inside peek at how Sophy and Elizabeth coach clients through the transactional dating rut. Plus,  an important and exciting announcement about our upcoming workshop series, "Becoming the One."  Tune in to scoop all the details.
Join us on the Conscious Dating Journey:
Find Out How
 
Our Upcoming Workshop Series:
Becoming the One
 

Episode 10 | From the Field | Facing the First-Date-Questions We Dread

We all have the question we dread being asked about ourselves; the part that we tuck deep down inside, hoping it won't be poked or prodded until we feel secure enough in the relationship...or maybe...never. This deeply personal episode encourages us to peel back those layers of fear and dread in order to create more intimacy with ourselves and in our dating life. In this 'From the Field' episode, Sophy and Elizabeth share their client, Rachel's, story about her deep desire to start a family and her fear of bringing this up on a date, especially a first date. 

Episode 9 | Top 3 Tips for Overcoming Dating Fatigue

Your hosts, Sophy Singer and Elizabeth Foster, share their top 3 conscious ways to overcome dating fatigue and prevent or recover from burnout. We've all experienced the dating dread and boredom that leaves one feeling...uninspired. If you are looking for a way to reclaim freedom and fun in your dating-swipe-life, you don't want to miss this episode...it's for you. And don't forget to hit that subscribe button for more conscious tips and shares.
Our upcoming event, Closer | The Antidote to Dating Boredom
Click Here for Details
Find out more info on how to do the dating life consciously
https://sophy.love

Episode 8 | From the Field | How One Client Transformed Her Dating Life Post-Breakup

When you can't seem to find that person that checks all of your boxes....
A From the Field intimate inside look into navigating dating woes and transformations with Sophy Singer, founder of Sophy Love. A peek into one client's transformative journey from a toxic relationship, followed by a rough breakup, to a vibrant and joyous dating life. Tune in to find out how!
Visit Us:
https://sophy.love/

Episode 7 | The Platinum Rule of the Dating Space | Pillar 5 of Authentic Relating | Feedback from the Field

In this episode of The Conscious Matchmaker, Sophy Singer and Elizabeth Foster discuss the fifth practice of Authentic Relating-- Honor Self and Other. They explore the concept of The Platinum Rule, and how to use this tool to transform your dating life, which involves treating others how they want to be treated rather than assuming they want to be treated the same way we do. Emphasizing the importance of slowing down, making deep contact, and being present with the needs and boundaries of both oneself and others, Sophy and Elizabeth also introduce a game called The Curiosity Game, which is a fun and fresh way to foster authentic and truly engaging conversations.
Curiosity Exercise: the curiosity exercise uses a clear context to provide participants with the permission to get genuinely curious about another person in a structured format. It's one of the most portable and popular exercises 1 that you can use with anyone in your life to know a person more deeply and be more deeply known by others. The Curiosity exercise is also a great example of how context can unlock an intimate connection. Access a deep level of connection with both strangers and friends more quickly and easily using the curiosity exercise than by almost any other means. Is how we facilitate the exercise in our workshops but you can adapt this context and structure in many different ways. As long as the central intention of creating a context to allow for the expression of genuine, childlike curiosity to flow is upheld, you can engage with this exercise in whatever way feels alive and exciting.
 
Step one -- the partner offering and holding the context (partner A) ask the other partner (partner B) "Would you like to try the curiosity exercise?" Partner A can add further context that articulates the value in (the why) of the exercise, perhaps to feel more connected or learn more about one another. Partner B can offer suggestions or adjust the context as necessary until B is fully bought in and ready to participate. 
Step two--partner A has five minutes to ask any questions they want to ask with the only rule being that they are genuinely curious to know the answer. B answers as briefly or comprehensively as they would like and can decline to answer any question for any reason.
Step three--partner A has two minutes to ask more questions but this time partner B doesn't answer the questions directly but instead rates the questions on a scale from 1 to 5: 1 is the most boring question they could be asked, while five is the most fascinating question they could be asked. This step provides partner A with guidance and direction in how to refine the line of questioning that fulfills both partner A's genuine curiosity as well as partner B's excitement in answering. When both intentions are satisfied we tend to see the deepest connection and intimacy.
Step four-- Partner A has another five minutes to ask any questions, now incorporating the ratings that partner be provided in the last step.
Step five-- Partner A completes two sentence stems that serve as affirmations of the connection. 
Sentence one: "where I felt you the most was..." this is a reflection of when partner A felt most impacted by whatever partner B shared in the two rounds. 
Sentence two: "what I get about you is..." this is a reflection of partner B's essence--their way of being in the world and the values they care about.
Step six-- As with most authentic relating exercises the two partners complete the sequence with a debrief, in which they talk about how the experience went, identify any sites or learnings, and explore any questions that arose. Debrief itself can often lead to a lot of aliveness and can spark further threads of conversation and exploration.Switch roles. Partner A becomes the answerer, and Partner B gets to be the questioner.
 
A much simpler version of the exercise that you can do anywhere is just doing step 1 and step 2 without a time limit. This still provides the questioner with the freedom and shared context to ask anything they are genuinely curious about. The context provides a sense of ease and safety for the answerer since they have agreed to receive the questions. Imagine if the questioner goes right into a line of questioning that the answerer may find very personal without first setting context. The answerer is often caught off guard and becomes defensive, suspicious, or confused. Setting good clear context is the key to making this exercise work most effectively
 
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Visit us here: https://sophy.love
 
 

Episode 6 | Being Authentic on your First Date | Owning Your Experience with Authentic Relating

Enrich, enliven and uplevel your dating life with this one tool: Own Your Experience. The fourth practice of Authentic Relating, Own Your Experience, is the tool that sets you free to express your authentic self. "No one is coming to save you," a tough truth that Sophy Singer and Elizabeth Foster explore within the dating space, sharing examples of clients who have used this practice to find deeper intimacy within themselves and true connection in their dating experiences. Vital to the success of one's relationships and dating life authenticity and vulnerability can be challenging to embody... especially on first and second dates... let's dive in!

Episode 5 | 'Authentic Relating' Author, Ryel Kestano, on Navigating Dating Apps, First Dates, and Cultivating True Intimacy

Sophy Singer and Elizabeth Foster have an illluminating conversation with Ryel Kestano, the author of, 'Authentic Relating.' .They discuss the challenges of dating in the modern world and how to navigate them utilizing Authentic Relating practices. Not only will they touch on the best way to use dating apps to enrich your dating life, Sophy, Ryel, and Elizabeth also explore the importance and freedom found when bringing your whole self rather than your "first-date-self" into the dating space.  Ryel emphasizes the power of revealing and naming your present moment experience to create meaningful connections and true intimacy, a tool that helps cultivate open and honest conversations, avoiding misunderstandings and assumptions. 
ANNOUNCEMENT: Upcoming online work shop, 'Closer to You | The Art of Conscious Dating'. All of the details for sign-up are in this episode! Tune in! 
 

Episode 4 | How to Overcome Dating Fatigue and Burnout | The 3rd Pillar in Authentic Dating: Revealing Your Experience

In this episode of The Conscious Matchmaker, Sophy Singer and Elizabeth Foster discuss the 3rd Pillar in Authentic Relating: Revealing Your Experience. They announce an upcoming course called Closer to You, the Art of Conscious Dating. They explore the challenges and fears associated with revealing oneself in the dating scene, but the benefits this act of truth brings to connection and intimacy. They share stories and examples of how revealing your experience can lead to deeper connections and better communication. They emphasize the importance of being authentic and vulnerable in dating and relationships.